Live From the Overnights
It is currently 1:50 A.M. EST. I have been in self-inflicted captivity for over three hours. There are few of us left, all of us weary and vaguely annoyed. These are the Overnights.
I work at the help desk in the communications school computer labs, and it's a great gig. The demands are low, as long as the printers and other technical doodads remain functional. The lab hours are reasonable during the school year, open until midnight on weeknights and 10pm on weekends. However, the reality of the situation is that this is a college campus. "Closed by midnight?! What is this, an old folks home in Boca?" This is what the looks of many anxious and overtired students silently convey to me as I state the hours of operation.
Alas, there is a wondrous time that comes but once a semester, a time in which the lab hours stretch out vastly in all directions. A time when the period of operation reaches infinity, and the Overnights begin. That's right. During the final weeks of each semester, the labs remain open 24 hours, and thus commence the Overnights.
Here's the issue with the Overnights. They are precisely what they imply. This means that tonight, as the regular lab hours end at 10 P.M., 9:45 was my time to step foot on uncharted grounds (well, uncharted by me at least) and to begin my first real overnight shift. This means I will leave at 8 A.M. tomorrow morning (or, this morning? It is now 1:59. Nine minutes since I last checked the clock).
The loophole to this very literal Overnight is the empty lab clause. If everyone leaves, and that means everyone, then the help desk employees are also allowed to leave. This happened during my actual first Overnight shift last week. I took the first Overnight of the semester and word had not yet spread to the masses. The only reason anyone stayed was because we didn't come around to kick them out at midnight like we usually do. ("Hey, just a 30 minute warning." "Hi again, just giving you guys a 20 minute warning." "Heyyyyy, start saving your files everybody, this is a 15 minute warning." "Hi guys, just an 8 minute warning, we're going to be closing in about 7 minutes and 58 seconds, so.")
So in short, my Overnight was more teaser than feature film. We all left by 1:30 A.M.
Fast forward ten days. Finals Week officially begins on Monday, and the 'ish has most certainly hit the fan. People are taking full advantage of the 24 hour lab schedule and are only leaving to meet Chinese food delivery guys briefly outside the building, or to touch their parched lips to the cold mercy of the water fountain before heading back to their computers. We're in it now.
So this is where you find me. I am staring blankly at my computer screen. All of the homework I planned to do in these otherwise empty hours has been thrown to the wayside, as it takes too much effort to remain a functional human being. I have already watched Broken Flowers and The Last King of Scotland, filled three different online shopping carts then promptly x-ed out of the browsers, and scrolled mindlessly through various social and news media sites. I have moved on to Phase Two of the Overnights: inconsistent life planning.
Phase Two is about questioning stuff in a really general way, while making plans that don't make sense. For example, I just had the thought "maybe I'm just one of those people who needs to travel. Maybe I should just travel. I'll find ways to support myself." Then, to supplement this vague and incomplete thought, I proceeded to research and half-way book a yoga retreat in Marrakech for a "starting price" of $2,000. This makes perfect sense!
I'm sure that by Phase Three, Philosophical Questioning, I will abandon these plans in favor of the Hare Krishna ideology, then maybe I'll watch Magnolia or The Fountain or 2001: A Space Odyssey and my mind will be blown onto a new course.
I'm not sure what Phase Four is, but if I'm coherent enough by then I'll try to record some 127 Hours-esque documentary footage.
Incoherently yours,
Lauren